I have written about trust before. But this fall, the theme keeps appearing in my own life. Which is a good reason to take it a little further and deeper.
Early this year, I had an idea that would enable me to combine my counseling practice with initiatives that other people were developing. The idea felt right, the people I approached were enthusiastic, and a project was born. As an experienced project manager, I led the project carefully from one step to the next. Project management is about inspiration and collaboration. But it is also about control.
As time passed, events started calling my attention to the fact that the project might turn into something totally different, something I hadn’t foreseen. My first reaction was to panic. At the same time, however, I felt that there was an important lesson to learn here. That which is emerging just may turn out to be better and more valuable than my original idea.
But then, I will have to let go of all control. I will have to trust in our collaboration. But what’s even more important, I will have to trust that life gives me exactly what I need. And this is very difficult. I don’t think I’m the only person who holds on to what I have, what I can control, out of fear.
We do this in relationships as well. We hold on to people out of fear of losing them and ending up alone. Even though, if we can let go and trust, the relationship will be probably able to thrive and grow. And if it can’t, then maybe you should ask yourself what is worse, the relationship or being alone.
Can we trust that the collaboration, our relationships, our friendships can thrive without control and fear? I learn increasingly to do so. And you?