Four weeks ago, Lizzy de Wilde started coaching me on writing this blog. It has been an interesting path. I have learned a lot, especially about my own resistance to exposure. I found myself enjoying the writing, but reluctant to promote the blog. To post a Tweet, a message to Facebook, and a message to LinkedIn daily: Read my blog, it is really interesting! My blog is very interesting! I enjoy reading my own posts. I get enthusiastic feedback from readers and my audience is growing. So where does this reluctance come from?
To ask the question is to answer it. I have an awkward relationship with visibility, with putting myself on stage. One of my survival strategies as a highly sensitive child, was to remain as invisible as possible. It helped me to keep from feeling overwhelmed. I no longer need this strategy, I can shed it now.
I have started taking voice lessons. One of the things I learn is to sing with volume and expression. This is so much fun! At the same time, I find myself fighting the same reticence. May I really sing that loud? Am I good enough to make myself heard?
I know that I am not alone in this. I suspect a lot of you are nodding your heads in recognition. My way of dealing with this is to be a ‘good father’ to my hesitant inner-child. Yes, I may hesitate. I may stick my big toe in the water to see if it is really too cold for me. If it is, I may back down. However, if it is doable, my ‘inner father’ will give me that gentle shove that I need. I know that he will do this with love and respect. I am good enough to get out there on that stage and make myself heard.
When do you run into your own reticence? How do you deal with it? Please share your experiences with us in the space below for comments!
Link to my Pinterest moodboard on (in)visibility. If you have images you would like to add, please send me your email address and I will put you on the board’s list.